When it comes to experiences with toxic or simply ignorant people, i have too many to count. Today imma share one that is the most recent incident.

A few months back i was asked for a TV interview. Most of you probably don't know because i don't want people who knows me watch me so i usually keep quiet about it 🤣, but i've been interviewed on national TVs a few times and a lot more times on radios.

My mistake was not asking the producer what the interview was going to be about, assuming that we would be talking about my community-Couldn't be more more wrong.

When the team arrived and the producer began telling me about the topic, i started to have a sinking feeling. The fact that she didn't even know who i am really and my community is a total red flag. The topic is about how you shouldn't judge women by their physical appearance. Apparently she saw me in another media's segment and i can bet she picked me because i am clearly heavier than the other girls in the video.

Things got worse when i realize the MC (who is a very vapid, shallow type who made stupid remarks nonstop) never saw the questionnaire before and she was basically let loose to run her mouth. The interview turned out to be me mostly listening to her yapping and sometimes body shaming me 🤣. She was also being very passive aggresive the whole time and giving me backhanded compliments.

One minute she'd tell me i'm really pretty and has great fashion sense, and the next she'd go "so why did your husband fell for you if we're not supposed to judge people by their physical appearance?", Which is the dumbest thing ever because where is the correlation? FYI, i was very popular in Uni and my husband did fell solely for my looks in the beginning.
True story.
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Words cuts.

Too often people finds it so easy to say things that they think is funny, or means nothing - just some flippant words for a cheap or two, but for some (i would say a lot) those words cuts. Deeper than you ever thought and for plenty of us who feels more, we carry it with us like scars.

I'm used to be teased, being bigger than your average petite Asian stereotypes, even when i was once skin and bones, i was never skinny enough for people to stop commenting about my body.

With my demeanor (i am naturally shy, some people mistaken my shyness as bitchiness and sometimes arrogance but when you are older than me/someone i know/a friend of a friend then i tend to hide my shyness with jokes and laughter - which again people mistaken as a welcome sign to say demeaning jokes about me) and my years-younger-appareance (young uns, i'm probably old enough to be your mother) it's just so easy to get too comfortable to say stupid things to me and think that it's okay.

What's weirder to me? Is those people who attacks with their snakey tounges usually have their own weight problems (on both spectrums), this makes me believe that it's their own inability to accept and love their bodies that makes them bitter with the way i love mine. Sad people are pathetic, in their minds others who they think shares their problem (although honestly, they are usually a lot bigger than me) should be as sad and bothered as them, therefore they try to bring you down by saying mean things about you.

Have you ever think people who says mean things about you this way? Coz i know for a fact that it's true... Why can't we all be a little kinder, a little more cautious with our words?
#ootd #ootdid #mybodymyrules
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Taking a break from close up, indoor, quarantine posts with posting a set of throwback OOTD (throw way back when i still sport a full front bangs 🤣, it's been a long while) i never posted while sharing my musings about some deeper issues.

Sharing this picture reminds me how uncomfortable i was that day, i carry my weight around my arms and thighs (and face) the most, while i can tell you i have a flat tummy, i sometimes joke about how my arms are not for public consumption because i i find them hideous. Do i hate my body? I truly don't. After many many years of struggling, i have finally accepted my body, but that doesn't mean i have no inscecurities about them. Ofc i do. I would still wear this dress but in the future, for my own comfort, i will pair it with something that covers my arms. Not because i am ashamed of them though, but because i want and deserve to feel good and comfortable.

This is something that most people fail to understand, body acceptance and body positivity is not a movement to glorify obesity (and anorexia), it is a movement to celebrate and accept being able to love yourself regardless of your shape and weight.

It's also a bit sad how people (especially Indonesian 🤣, i guess it is the same for some Asian countries) are also so ready to remind us how flawed we are (i will be sharing some stories that i wasn't ready to share before but i think i am now) and how it's supposed to be okay to make fun/comment on other people's bodies - and when the person's offended, then he/she is petty/unreasonable/cannot take joke. That is effed up.

If any of you managed to read my whole caption, feel free to share with me your own insecurities and if you find me raising such issues to be interesting?

#ootd #ootdid #mybodymyrules
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A very rare, non throwback full length pic 🤣, i hope PSBB is going to be successful so at least i can start taking pics again outside at small doses like this... I'm getting sick of all those selfies 😳. Ps : for those of u who are used to my girly, floaty outfits, i also love casual clothes (i LOVE oversize boys tee!) and wear them a lot, i rarely take pics in them but i had to (for a campaign) this time so why not sneak in a little ootd 😁. #ootd #ootdid #sbybeautyblogger #bblogger #bbloggerid #influencer #influencerindonesia #surabayainfluencer #beautyinfluencer #beautybloggerid #beautybloggerindonesia #bloggerceria #beautynesiamember #influencersurabaya #indonesianblogger #indonesianbeautyblogger #surabayablogger #surabayabeautyblogger #bloggerperempuan #clozetteid #girl #asian #notasize0 #personalstyle #surabaya #effyourbeautystandards #celebrateyourself #sportystyle #casual #akunacafe

Snapped a few pics in this position because there were people dining at the back, they're a lot more visible in the other snaps. Tried to edit them but WHITE FLAG. I just dunno how to do them 😢😢😢. #throwback #ootd #ootdid #sbybeautyblogger #bblogger #bbloggerid #influencer #influencerindonesia #surabayainfluencer #beautyinfluencer #beautybloggerid #beautybloggerindonesia #bloggerceria #beautynesiamember #influencersurabaya #indonesianblogger #indonesianbeautyblogger #surabayablogger #surabayabeautyblogger #bloggerperempuan #clozetteid #girl #asian #notasize0 #personalstyle #surabaya #effyourbeautystandards #celebrateyourself #arteastiq #arteastiqsurabaya

I heard so many good prediction about the virus condition going to get better by next month, i truly hope that it's true and i believe it's attainable only if people would take everything more seriously and be disciplined.As an introverted social butterfly (yes, there is such thing), i miss my friends and i miss being busy , while i don't mind the whole staying at home thing (i actually did that in long extended of times when i just gave birth and when my son was little) but ofc like all introverts out there, we'd like to do it in our own terms! #throwback #ootd #ootdid #sbybeautyblogger #bblogger #bbloggerid #influencer #influencerindonesia #surabayainfluencer #beautyinfluencer #beautybloggerid #beautybloggerindonesia #bloggerceria #beautynesiamember #influencersurabaya #indonesianblogger #indonesianbeautyblogger #surabayablogger #surabayabeautyblogger #bloggerperempuan #clozetteid #girl #asian #notasize0 #personalstyle #surabaya #effyourbeautystandards #celebrateyourself #arteastiq #arteastiqsurabaya

All i can say is, i am so ready for some good news 🙊🙊🙊. #throwback #ootd #ootdid #sbybeautyblogger #bblogger #bbloggerid #influencer #influencerindonesia #surabayainfluencer #beautyinfluencer #beautybloggerid #beautybloggerindonesia #bloggerceria #beautynesiamember #influencersurabaya #indonesianblogger #indonesianbeautyblogger #surabayablogger #surabayabeautyblogger #bloggerperempuan #clozetteid #blue #girl #asian #notasize0 #girlygirl #personalstyle #surabaya #effyourbeautystandards #celebrateyourself

I miss twirling in my floaty skirts, posing here and there.. Obviously this is another throwback pic, no need to be salty, i am staying home and being good as usual hehe. #ootd #ootdid #sbybeautyblogger #bblogger #bbloggerid #influencer #influencerindonesia #surabayainfluencer #beautyinfluencer #beautybloggerid #beautybloggerindonesia #bloggerceria #beautynesiamember #influencersurabaya #indonesianblogger #indonesianbeautyblogger #surabayablogger #surabayabeautyblogger #bloggerperempuan #clozetteid #blue #girl #asian #notasize0 #girlygirls #kawaiiaesthetic #personalstyle #surabaya #effyourbeautystandards #celebrateyourself

This situation shows us what we took for granted. The sun, the scenery, the places, the people, the streets, the moments.
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Didn't we all too busy to capture the moments than to actually living the moments? To saw everything behind the lens instead of our own eyes. For the sake of virtual pals and a little fame. For every compliments to satisfy our egos.
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Don't we miss the times we didn't enjoy back then, with our friends and family, because we wanted to show a fake life to the world?
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Anyway, have a blessed Easter🐇
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